"My September"

Ive always had a great relationship with September, its my spring September where everything is colourful and great! it starts with the day i was born 3rd of Sep (yet dad still insist that its the 5th!) - every year its a great time to me, very special though nothing happens and i celebrate it alone with some really close friends. This year "My September" was different. For the first time in my life September fail me so bad but i think because it was trying to warm me about something since years.
it began with a surprisingly weird feeling, it was not joyful and not sad but it was dark and heavy to my heart. yet the thing i was waiting for happened! and i was crying because i thought my feelings this year were deceiving me and that though this dark feeling still September didn't fail me and it gave me the best present on my day...
still my birthday was a bit weird, didnt feel that i have reached 25 years in my life and i am where i am today while i know for a fact that i could have dont more but i ve missed 5 years waiting for this thing to happen while already did!
it is weird how scared i was from it but then i unleashed my happiness and felt it to the ultimate and was dreaming of "My great September" the dark feeling was fading away yet i can sense it... one day later the darkness pealed my happiness from my life and something i prepared my self for since 5 years was lost in a moment of leashed happiness.
today i pick my self pieces after a day from the darkness attack, i will not lose what i have built to my self and i will not lose who i was before as in the happiness camouflage i forgot the person inside me and got lost between superficiality.
i can easily say that "My September" was the worse September i have ever lived in 25 years :-)