Friday, December 01, 2006

We have planes but God already planned for us!

I was so excited for the public holidays the goverment issued for us regarding the national day. I made lots of planes, me and my family decided to go camping and then go here and there.. it was 8 o'clock and we were suppose to go out at 10 A.M and i heard this strong knocks in my room then my mom came in and she was crying i got freaked out, i stod in my bed with my hair all bushy wondring what going on! Ma maa is everything ok, she said your grandmother passed away! I couldnt stand i felt oh my god! I was like which one of them! She was like my aunt the one who raised me after my mother died! I hold mom and gave her my condolenses am really sorry mama.. This is how we put a plane for our lives and god has already planed for us! I rushed to call my sister Salwa i called her and i was in shock salwa salwa our grandmother passed away! salwa bust in tears rushing to us..
about 9:30 i reached the funeral, everyone was there.. It was like eid or like a family reunin the only difference was that poeple were crying instead of smiling! Evryone was tearing up.. They took me to a room full of poeple and there she lyes! Like a sleeping beauty so peaceful and so calm. i was like its not possible maybe she fainted maybe she's a sleep maybe she's in a colma! I mean come on she's so peacefully smiling and its like in any moment will open her eyes and give me her usual smile when ever she see me. Her laughter is in my ears the way she used to call my name the way she used to eat her food and ripped it in to small pieces because she couldnt handle solid food due to her age.. Everything just clicked in my mind. The first thing i did was getting close to her and just looking at her face. A face that i would not see for real again till one day. It was time for her to be washed and to be coffined! I was in shock. The way they wshed her and dress her up like a little baby who cant move and you have to do everything for him, but this time this baby is sleeping without moving! It was time for them to take her. i looked at her covered body for the last time i came close and whispered i love you dear grandmother and i hope one day we will meet again..
after that i was thinking alot, i sat in a corner and saw how mama was so sad about her second mother.. i hate this feeling, you lose someone and it hurts so bad but all what you can do is just to accept it. i was thinking how do they feel why do they seem so quite, there under the crave how does it feel, what happeneds next, where do they go, do they wait long till the judgment day or its just a blink to them? many questions where up my head!! wondering wondering and wondering? how why and when? i exhurasted my mind from all the thoughts.. Finally i stood up from my place and said to my self one day it will be mom and one day it will be daddy and one day it will be ME! am i prepare for it? I can never be prepare for death but i have to give it more thoughts i should give it more time concendering whats after it and what might happened if i was in my grandmother's position! God planned that on the 28th of November 2006 my grandmother will die normaly while sleeping like he planned on Wednesday 18th of Augest 1999 for my brother to die in an accident. I'm waiting for my plane now and only who wrote it knows when and how.. God please have mercy on us and all the muslims during death and the judgement day Amen!

No comments: