Turn

You spend a life time thinking that this is what you want and this what will life be in 3 years and 8 months latter then today and you dream, pray, life and above all you believe...
then one day in a matter of seconds that whole life you drew with passion for your self takes another direction!

What went wrong? why did this turn took place? where am i going? i didn't plan for this for the past 3 years and 8 months and then out of a sudden you're there point 0 and you thought you were in point 3 years and 8 months but you're all the way back to 0 in an eye blink...

Did i make a mistake by believing that this is NOW what i want or did i make a mistake by dreaming too much and praying that i will get what i wanted then living it latterly and believing again that this day will come where i harvest my fruits??

you get many questions doubting your soul that maybe you did something wrong and that you need to revise your self back and do things right from point 0 again thus you worked really hard like A type of hard work yet you're here at point 0...

i will find the answers and once i understand why am in point 0 because at this point i see 5 different roads and I'm in the middle of no where thinking which road from these 5 roads should i take? which path is my destiny? and which path will take me straight to what i dreamt of?

I'm in a stage where i feel too scared to take any road and i just want to stay still in the middle of no where hanging by the wall pretending to be OK and bursting my self in laughter to hide this vague vision that i face...


the only thing that i know right now is that i wanna take a turn and give these 5 roads my back and run away back and try to understand what did i do wrong that i am here at point 0, what else should i do to keep the light here in my life...

cold eyes, a clot of anger and deep sad look is what i became yet i am wearing a mask of a bright smile that non can see nor can witness but i still keep my mask all the time...