Reality...........
a truth that i refused to see 5 years and i refused to see untill today, i woke up just knowing that today is the day i see reality...
i waked from my house door, my eye was twitching, my right eye... in Omani standards that means something bad, though i never believed in that but i felt its real inside me...
i saw what i was refusing to see, i finally made that decesion that i was waiting for so long... i know its right and i know it should have happened long ago. i crushed my dreams. i killed my heart. i broke my own heart, i took it out and stepped on it and through it away where no one will ever find it. the hard decision is been made and lonely and alone is what i choose to be.. because reality is not the dream i lived in. reality is here where am sitting today at this time, writing in this place feeling this horrible horrible agony that i kept been blind for so long and i believed a dream, a beautiful dream,, a lie, a beautiful lie...
broken inside, no place to go, open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why, you've been rejected and you cant find what you left behind, i need to be strong, too many problems and i dont know where i belong. am back where i was 4 years back... my feelings that i hide, my dreams that cant find, am loosing my mind, falling behind, falling my grace i feel all over the place shreded in peaces, no place to go, no place to go... i see rounds of people but i am not here, no around any more. physical and psycho pain in my heart that i try to hide behind a big smile, a big fake smile that everything is ok and things are normal. Be strong and keep your face thats the only idea rolling in my mind, yet i cant fake any more i need home, i need home, home is not safe any more, home is no where any more, home is lost for good......
