STOP

I go through my life papers everyday, thinking, laughing, crying and sometimes just gazing at white empty papers remembering every single moment where I missed a moment that time. Where I wasted it on something that’s not here today. Many will say well that’s life, that’s how we experience things but I don’t feel that. I feel I want to go back and twist many things that I know I could have kept with me till this instant but I don’t have the power to STOP.

I don’t have the strength to go back, to think of each incident about life I feel intimidating that it can be worse then it was or even too good to loose it latter. funny that we can never be satisfied and funny that we can never be happy no matter how happy we were at the time been and previously then when its too late we relies it and tear about it.

if every person knew that he or she will loose someone for death they would definitely do allot for him or her before death take them away but we cannot predict things nor we can change things but we can do one thing, embrace what we have now and appreciate it because as many has said before live your life like you're dying tomorrow.

today I’m here and I wish I can yell to tell the world that I’m not here tomorrow neither do you my dear world because life is shorter then we may think it is. we all use the phrase life is short but we never implement the concept and I’m tired to act upon it alone where I love I sacrifice and the world don’t, but I’ve always believed that I feed my self happiness by been the way I am and I hope u wont have to shout STOP again.

I speak ghandi

Many times I sit alone and it will be the only time where I feel I’m been my self and I’m happy and relived, every night I celebrate alone on my bed sitting looking at the wall feeling oh this is the time where I feel so happy where I’m alone and no one is there but during the day I’m surrounded by the whole world. there isn’t a day where I spend it alone without having someone coming to say approaching me for a thing and people love to come to me just for a chat and I like that too but during that whole fuss I feel something is missing I feel alone...
I feel that I don’t celebrate my self enough like when I do when I’m alone and then suddenly everything makes sense. They always say that you need people to live and I cannot agree more but would it make you happy when you’re surrounded by people. Every Thursday I crave for the night to reach so I can go to bed and spend my night reading or watching a movie. It’s the time where I feel everything is connected to me and that life really means something more then just people and working and outings. Life means much more, there's a spiritual side that reached to me every Thursday night and I reach the ultimate balance between pleasure and religion. Something that I sensed many times when I knew love...
Love is the balance between the two basic things about this world, life and prayers. True love for everything, I fell in love with a book, I fell in love with a faze, I fell in love with my new gold fish. Sometimes loving stuff around us makes more sense then loving a person who might harm you eventually or even demolish this love you have. Pure love is always a balance; it’s always the middle option the compromise.
I feel sorry for people who didn’t discover such a reality during their life because life is not just about life is two sides where you reach to a balance that will make your life makes sense out of a sudden :)
Some of my scrabble makes no sense till the day a person finds that balance.